It's OFFICAL

Saturday, February 26, 2011

It's my birthday and I’m old.
The government sent me a Medicare card to prove it.
They need not have bothered.  I already knew it.

Along with all the gravitational  ravages my body’s endured,
my mind has gone south too.

* * *
I don’t mean memory wise. Hell, that happened in my 30s.
I mean my opinions of what’s happening in the world are echoing those of my father when I was 18:

My dad said:
Of the Beatles- dressed in suits & ties: Those slobs need haircuts!
Of gas prices: I’ll be damned if I’ll pay more than .35 a gallon.
Of TV:  That Bandstand is just a bunch of noise with fanny-shaking.
Of the President: Finally! A Catholic in the White House. Can he get those Commies straightened out?
Of  Me: Just wait ‘til you have kids of your own, young lady.
Of  Me:  Get a JOB!  You need to learn the value of a dollar.

Now I’m 65 and I say:
Lady Gaga should just SING. Who wears meat & rides around in an egg?
Charlie Sheen - ass.
Lindsay Lohan - ass.
Kardashians - family of asses.
Of gas prices: I’ll be damned if I’ll pay $3.00,  $4.00,  $5.00 a gallon.
Of TV: I refuse to watch a bunch of slutty housewives.
Of the President:  I don't care if he's purple- can he fix the @#$%^&* economy?
Of Me: I don’t FEEL like a great grandmother (come July)
Of Me: What?! No Cost Of Living Raise on my Social Security this year? I need a job!



I am a crone- a woman of wisdom. I have developed skills I didnt have before.
I can laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.

 So I will embrace my age BUT WITH DIGNITY
remembering that some hold on waaaay too long.
***
I was bitchin' at 18 and I'm still bitchin' at 65.



13 Comments:

Kat said...

and this my dear, is why I love you.

Packrat said...

Happy belated birthday! Love your post.

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