You Know Who You Are

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Three years ago today my husband Pat died. When we married, I was 19 and he was 20. After 42 years of "we", "us" and "ours", my life instantly became about "I", "me" and "mine" but this post isn't about heartache and grief...it's about blessings and gratitude.

After Pat died, widowed friends told me that there was a phenomenon I could expect to see. "Some of your friends, who have been very close to you, will move away from you, and acquaintances and strangers will move closer to you." Hard to believe and I doubted it, but as it happens, they were right. Some close friends have slipped away quietly for whatever reasons. (Sad to see them go but understandable since everything that came out of me was all about MY grief, MY tears, and MY aloneness.) People I barely knew and people I didn’t know at all have moved into my circle and become very good friends, just as predicted.

But I wasn’t prepared for the angels. I don’t mean the ethereal, celestial creatures of renaissance art. I mean the flesh and blood, young/old, over/underweight angels with freckles or braces or wrinkles or receding hairlines (and in come cases no hair at all.) Some of you I’ve known for many years and some of you have just recently wandered into my life and stayed. My angels.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

As different and unique as each one of you may be, you all have something in common.You each have given me piece of your heart to help mine mend. You’ve enriched my mind and my soul and given me hope, courage, love and support. In my darkest days, you lit a candle for me. You kept me moving forward.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

I’ve tried to thank you for your generosity of spirit but it seems like that’s not enough. I feel like there’s more I need to do. I want to be as good a friend to others as you have been to me… to pay it forward. So you angels have given me yet another gift.
I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO.

I thank God every night for the angels He has sent me and I ask Him to give you blessings and keep you in His loving care.
HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE.






and Pat...my special angel, I still love you more than trees.


.

26 Comments:

Packrat said...

What a lovely post. I hope your day is filled with wonderful memories.

Kathy L said...

"...and Pat...my special angel, I still love you more than trees."

I'm typing thru tears and a heaving chest Bev. What a beautiful, pure and spot on sentiment.

..."More than trees."

Beautiful, just like your soul Bev.

Widowhood... not a club whose membership I'd wish on anyone, but having membership foisted on myself as well, fellow members with souls like yours ... brimming with understanding, does help immeasureably.

Kathleen Faulkner said...

Bev, you are a cut above: I knew it the minute I met you.. I am moved to tears. Bless you.

Jim Carlisle said...

Bev,
You're an angel to all of US, my dear cousin.
I wish I could do more. I wish we lived closer. But you are always in my heart (and that's a real close location).
And you already have been "paying it forward." You are SO supportive to me, my family, my career, my life. I love you dearly and always will. Count on it.

Barbara Lemmond said...

Bev, I've been sitting here half an hour, reading and re-reading this beautiful entry to your blog. I want to respond with something profound, but I just can't find the words.

I love you dearly, my chosen sister, and miss you so very much! Our visits are too far apart, as are the miles. That we need to take care of! As Jim said, our hearts are close, however, and I guess that's the most important part.

How proud I am of you and where your life has taken you as you've picked up the pieces these past three years! And Kathy, you have also shown the same strength and grace these past two years, dealing with your loss. You both hold special places in my heart.

Andrew's Mom said...

You are one of my angels. I've never told you but I've thought it time and again .... sometimes a sweet funny witty comment from you makes my day and helps me keep my chins up! xoxoxo

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